Before we could start a podcast, we had to handle all our anxieties about starting a podcast, right?
I mean, we’re two English majors turned travel writers who are currently massively underemployed due to a global pandemic. You gotta let us get meta for a bit.
In this episode, we try to pre-empt all criticism by analyzing our own anxieties about starting a podcast.
I’m Anxious About Starting a Podcast Because…
- fear of people hating our voices — especially Allison and her California affliction of saying “like” every few words (sorry, guys, it’s a process)
- fear of being vulnerable and putting ourselves out there
- fear of starting something new and being in the beginner stages where you just suck at something
- nervous excitement about putting a new product out there into the world and the learning curve that it’ll require to get this product off the ground, such as learning editing.
3 Tips If You Have Anxiety About Starting a Podcast
- The hardest part of any new venture is getting out of your own way and getting it off the ground. So just start: we promise you’ll learn things along the way.
- If you’re worried about how your voice sounds, you’re not alone. There’s like, science behind that. While women in particular are often policed for their voices, it doesn’t mean you should be anxious about starting a podcast. For example, Georgia Hardstark and Karen Kilgariff, hosts of the massively popular podcast “My Favorire Murder”, constantly get complaints about their vocal fry and California speaking mannerisms. Their podcast also gets 35 million downloads a month. So, yeah.
- Be yourself. People listen to podcasts because they like the intimacy and relationship they develop over time with the podcast hosts. If you’re trying to be a perfect cyborg recording a podcast, you’ll probably just turn everyone off. Let loose and laugh.
IAA 2: I’m Anxious About Starting a Podcast
Episode Description: In this first full-length episode, Chris and Allison get a bit meta and discuss their anxieties about starting a podcast: the fear of starting something new, the dreadful learning curve, worries about how their voices sound, being vulnerable, and all sorts of other fun insights into the overactive psyches of these two nervous people.
I’m Anxious About Starting a Podcast: Episode Transcript
Christopher Mitchell & Allison Green
Christopher Mitchell 0:03
Welcome to I’m Anxious About, a podcast where two friends commiserate about our respective anxieties on a new topic each week. I’m Christopher Mitchell.
Allison Green 0:13
And I’m Allison Green, and today, we are anxious about starting a podcast.
Yes, it’s a little meta, but bear with us because I think starting any new venture, especially if it’s a creative venture, but any venture at all, is always a little anxiety inducing.
I don’t know about you, but I have a real fear of starting new things, because I really hate that stage of development where you just suck, you know, and, they say it takes 10,000 hours to become a master in something, but I rarely make it past the first 100, because my frustration tolerance is pretty much that of like a five year old who has been told he can’t have his favorite toy. And so I usually quit most things before I properly get good at them. So starting something new, whether it be a podcast, a blog, basically anything, I freak out a little bit. Are you the same, Chris, how are you feeling?
Christopher Mitchell 1:37
Yeah, I feel pretty good about it. Overall, I think I’m actually more anxious about getting stuck in a routine or a rut. And so the idea of starting something new is actually a little bit liberating for me. Because I had that fear of just being like, well, I’m just, you know, guess I’m just gonna be okay with the status quo and just live out my days working on these couple things.
I like to have a bunch of things that I’m working on the other side of that of course that I often forget them only one human being, and sometimes I end up juggling like 13 projects. I have a bit of a propensity to think that I’m going to be able to find future time that doesn’t exist. So that’s the other side.
Allison Green 2:20
Yeah, yeah. It’s definitely a real shame that Hermione Granger’s time turner is not a thing.
Christopher Mitchell 2:27
Allison Green 2:29
But before we get started diving into the bulk of the podcast, I wanted to ask you, basically, just how are you feeling today? On a scale of one to crumbling to pieces? How’s it going over there in Toronto?
Christopher Mitchell 2:44
I think it’s going it’s going just fine. You know, we’re not gonna get too much into this episode, because everyone else in the planet is putting it in our faces right now. And it’s like, kind of impossible to avoid.
But of course, we’re in the midst of Coronavirus, which is a whole new thing going on, and that self isolation and stuff like that, I’ll be totally honest, where I don’t love being the feeling of being trapped. I love to be on the move. I love having plenty of options, and not huge on overarching authority telling me whether or not I can leave my house. So you know, these are a couple things that are making me a little bit like eugh, but I also generally speaking want to latch on to silver linings and and I think that for me is the ability to start new projects like this.
So on the one hand, you know, I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t, you know, a little bummed out not to have another trip forward to or even just to go over to a friend’s place for dinner or something like that. But, you know, the silver linings are that I can start stuff like this. And I’m also playing video games online unapologetically now, because it’s officially the most social thing they can do.
Allison Green 3:55
You’re saving the planet by playing video games. But Chris, we didn’t get a number from you.
Christopher Mitchell 4:01
Oh, well, that’s true. You’ll realize after you’ve been listening for a while that can happen. Uh, let’s go with a five.
Allison Green 4:12
Okay, exceedingly neutral, but okay. Were you anxious about giving too, like too extreme of a number in either way of the scale? Or are you truly feeling the five?
Christopher Mitchell 4:25
So another good question. I think I’m truly feeling the five because I’ve had moments this morning where I’ve both been like, Oh, this is the worst and also moments of happiness. Bri’s made — for those who don’t know, Bri is my wife — has made a lot of great food today. And I’ve eaten super well. And quite frankly, it’s pretty hard for me as a person to not be generally happy when I’m so well fed. So I think I’m kind of like a spoiled cat in that way. So that’s I think that’s where the five comes from. And I may try and sneak out and get a little sunshine later.
But I think generally speaking, you know, I’m feeling pretty, I’m feeling pretty pretty in the middle. And I also think people, you know, if they’re trying to get to know me now will understand that as a you know, as a Canadian, you know, polite, loving Canadian. It probably also has to do with me giving the safe answer for the first time, so you’ll love me.
Allison Green 5:22
Yes. And me being the brash American, I will be a little dramatic.
Christopher Mitchell 5:29
So please tell me: Can you tell me on the scale of one to crumbling to pieces where you’re at?
Allison Green 5:36
I’m at about a 6.5 today. And so we just adopted a dog. It was already our plan pre quarantine to adopt a dog, we wanted to adopt an older dog, who didn’t really have much of a chance in the shelter. So on Monday, we picked up this sweet sweet boy named…. Well, we’ve been waffling on a name, and we decided on Piggy today, but you know, may change because he likes to oink and grunt and, you know sniff around a lot, and he has like a pink nose.
But we didn’t want a puppy because of how much work they are. But we also kind of forgot about, oh, hey, this dog has been living in a shelter for five years and has zero conception of how to live in a house. And so basically, just trying to train him has been a bit of a nightmare. Because yes, we’re in the end times as I call the Coronavirus era.
Basically, we live on the eighth floor of a building. And every single time we want to give him a walk, you know, we’ve gotta suit up and put on all the hand sanitizers and the mask and this and that. And so we’ve been taking him out four times a day. And without fail, the moment he comes back into the apartment, is when he decides to take a giant shit on the floor. And like in multiple places along the floor. So it’s just like a Jackson Pollock-y shit everywhere situation.
Christopher Mitchell 7:14
Allison Green 7:15
And it’s like, but I just took you for 30 minute walk, bro, like, come on, like, give me a little slack. Like it’s not us missing his times. He just doesn’t really realize he’s not supposed to go to the bathroom in the house yet. And I know that shouldn’t make me anxious. Like, it should just make me frustrated. But there’s part of me that’s like, Oh my god, how am I ever going to teach him how to do this? He’s eight years old. You can’t You can’t teach a dog
Christopher Mitchell 7:41
You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.
Allison Green 7:43
Exactly. Like what if I can’t teach them new tricks? What if he’s just the house shitter? And oh, and then just, you know, because like, we’re in quarantine. And like, you know, you’re around your partner like 24/7. It’s just like, we keep being like, “can you clean the shit? Can you clean the shit?”
It’s just been, it’s just been a little tiring, honestly, you know, because we were so excited about getting the dog and we still are, we still love him. He is the sweetest, sweetest boy, I mean, this is just the one behavior we need to kind of stamp out. And it’s only been a week. But it has been quite anxiety inducing just, you know, all of a sudden, you let your guard down for a second, and then there’s just a horrible smell, and it’s like “aughhh I need to fix this immediately!”
Christopher Mitchell 8:29
“It’s happened again!”
Allison Green 8:31
And like my husband’s working from home, and he’s connected to his earpiece. So like, he’ll be shouting at me from the other room: “He’s done it again! Get the mop!” Because he can’t help immediately. And I have to like run out there. And then I’m stressed. So um, that that accounts for my 6.5
Christopher Mitchell 8:49
Yeah, I love it. I love it. I think we kind of delved into where we’re at. So we can probably dive into the episode, one thing we’re trying to do is we’re trying to experiment a little bit. And so we’re trying to create some structure by starting off each time by just checking in and where we’re at. And we’ll have a little something at the end, too.
But it’s just a way to kick off where we’re at today. And I think that’s important, you know, for all of us to be thinking about, Hey, where are we at today and knowing that you don’t always have to give the Canadian five.
Allison Green 9:20
Christopher Mitchell 9:20
That’s good. And today, really, I think it’s gonna be a good example of what the podcast is like, where we’re just going to talk about how we’re feeling about a different topic and just see where we align and where we don’t align.
But today’s gonna be very telling both personally and professionally for our podcast, because we’re talking about, you know, a little bit of anxiety around starting this podcast and I’d love to dive in a little bit to where we’re both at with this. Do you want to kick things off? Any anxieties you feel about about starting this podcast? We can get into hopes and dreams too. Do you want to start from from somewhere?
Do you want to start from somewhere
Allison Green 10:00
So I am anxious about my voice. Because I don’t know I just feel sort of like uh, female presenters or whatever… I was about to just say females, which is like my least favorite thing, like, please don’t call women females.
Christopher Mitchell 10:19
Allison Green 10:19
So like, I feel like women are often sort of policed for their voice. And I have a tendency to say like a lot, because I’m a Californian. And I know my voice can be kind of, I don’t know, I just I have some anxieties about my voice. I don’t know if it’s annoying. I don’t really know if it sounds good to other people. Because whenever I hear it played back, I’m like, that was not me. That’s a cipher. I don’t know who that was. So I’m a little anxious about bringing my voice to the masses.
Christopher Mitchell 10:58
Yeah. Yeah. Fair enough. Yeah. And I think even just using the term, the masses is ambitious, because we’ll see if anyone listens.
Allison Green 11:06
Yeah, but the masses of our dozen friends and family members who guilt into listening to this endeavor,
Christopher Mitchell 11:16
All of the close people.
Yeah, I know. But I mean, to be fair, I think that’s something that probably everyone contends with a little bit. I think some of these things, like, for example, if I was in love with listening to my own voice, I’m listening to it all the time. Like, I’m probably a narcissist, right?
Allison Green 11:33
Christopher Mitchell 11:33
I mean, so like, I think, I don’t even listen to my podcasts that I record, I can’t really bring myself to do it. However, and this is probably one of my anxieties about starting a podcast as I have a thing about people who repeat the same phrases over and over again, because I pick them up, and then I can’t get rid of them.
I listened to myself on an interview that I did last week talking about what it was like to be a travel content creator during this time. And I realized that I often pause and give a dramatic, like, you know, like, I’ll say something, like, I’ll be in the midst of saying something, and there’ll be something along the lines of, you know, we’re all coming at this together, you know, and it’s, it’s something we’re all going to go for, you know, and and it’s just like these unnecessary, you knows.
So that’s something I’m working on. And I think, on the one hand, it makes me a little bit like, anxious to put yourself out there. But it also now that I’ve said it out loud, it’s almost liberating, because now I know that people can reach me and call me on it. If they are like, Chris, I noticed you did pretty well in that first episode, not going down the “you know” road, but now you’re back, you’re back.
So that’s something I’m going to work towards. But as far as the sound of my own voice, I’ve gotten over it to the point where if it’s regularly going down the all episodes list on my podcast player, and it stumbles across the podcast that I’m on. I don’t immediately shudder in horror, but I’m also… I can’t necessarily listen to it. And yeah, I don’t know. But I think that’s a common thing.
Allison Green 13:07
Do you remember when like personalizing your voicemail was a thing?
Christopher Mitchell 13:12
In what sense?
Allison Green 13:14
Like where you had to be like, “Hi, I’m Allison. I’m not available right now.”
Christopher Mitchell 13:18
Allison Green 13:18
“Leave a message after the beep!” That was a harrowing experience for me. And I think that, just like you have a lot of words and phrases that you reuse a lot, “harrowing” is one of mine.
Christopher Mitchell 13:32
I like it
Allison Green 13:34
I think that everything is harrowing.
Christopher Mitchell 13:37
Allison Green 13:39
So um, but yeah, so that was just making me think of that, like how I would just be like, Oh, no, something’s wrong with that recording. No, I need to start it over and over and over again.
And actually like part of the fun of this podcast is that we are not trying to polish it into this perfect gem of masterful editing and masterful segues. We want it to be relatable, a little bit quirky, a little bit silly, and we just want to be able to be ourselves in hopes that other people will feel more confident in who they are, as weird as they and WE may be. And so yeah, I kind of kind of lost track there, can you help? … reel me in, reel me in Chris!
Christopher Mitchell 14:30
I’m starting to sound the foghorn like, you’re gone. Yeah, I know, I was worried where I was gonna find you there. It was pretty harrowing.
Allison Green 14:44
It was harrowing. Thank you for saying that. But you threw the life preserver at the exact right moment, so I did not drown.
Christopher Mitchell 14:56
So you’re back.
Allison Green 14:56
Yeah, I’m back on board.
Christopher Mitchell 14:58
I think that really sums it up well, though. We’re not aiming for perfection, because that would be sort of antithetical to what we’re trying to do here. And yeah, just trying to provide that open, honest voice and hopefully that resonates with people. And my feeling is it will and whether or not it does, I’m kind of excited about the process either way.
I’m not so concerned about the content, but something I was a little bit nervous about, I mean, kind of also excited about it in a weird way, is the is the production process, the the post production, you know, how do we take this and get it on to different platforms? I’ve done this before. But now we’re taking on more responsibility with editing and all this stuff. So I don’t know.
I mean, I think I’m honestly right now actually just excited for a new challenge. So it’s not that anxiety inducing for me. But the fact that I know that I have a couple things on my to do list in relation to this is, you know, makes me a little bit like eughhhh. But I don’t know, how are you feeling about the whole, the producing of the podcast, not necessarily the content, but though, but the production itself.
Allison Green 16:05
Harrowed? Is that a word? Harrowed?
Christopher Mitchell 16:07
Allison Green 16:11
Um, I’m anxious about it because frankly, I don’t do very well with new forms of technology, I don’t do well with new forms of just about anything, or just new.
Yeah, I don’t like being in beginner mode, I find it very frustrating. And especially with technology, things escalate very quickly to where it’s like that scene in Zoolander where they’re like trying to turn on the computer, and they start like beating it wildly, while like gradually making louder and louder monkey noises. That’s basically me, every time I try to figure out something technical.
I just turned 30. And for some reason, coinciding with my 30th birthday, I seem to have like, lost 20 to 30% of my ability to use technology. And things that were normally mindless tasks for me now seem insurmountable.
And I have like a great more deal of respect…. That is not how you would put those words together. I have far more respect for the boomer generation trying to figure out FaceTime. Like god bless my mother, who has still not figured out FaceTime in five years. And I can kind of relate to that now, because things feel more complicated at age 30.
I gotta say, I am a little nervous to learn a new program. And I am also nervous because my MacBook Air weighs like less than a pound, it’s very easy to throw or hit or bat if things are not going my way. So I’m just like a little bit worried for the safety of my computer and the safety of those around me as I learn a new program.
Christopher Mitchell 17:56
Allison Green 17:56
But I’m also excited to have something new to learn because I honestly haven’t really tried to gain a new skill. In a long time. It’s a totally new endeavor for me. I’ve never, ever worked on anything related to audio editing. I’ve done a small amount of video editing in the past, but nothing to where I feel it gives me any advantage.
So I’m a little nervous about the editing process, but also simultaneously excited because as you have gathered, we’re recording this in times of quarantine and isolation. And we have lots of time on our hands. So I’m grateful for a new project that is not figuring out what is on Netflix that we haven’t watched yet.
Christopher Mitchell 18:42
Exactly. I think that’s it for me, I’m not so worried about most of the things to do with this podcast, because I finally feel like I have ample time to do this. And I actually feel like this is a good use of my time, because often it’s, for me, at least it’s in writing or talking about things that I actually gain a lot more clarity about how I actually feel about things.
It’s almost like when I put it out in the world or put it on paper, it’s like it’s as someone who’s a little bit more like extroverted; it’s kind of like how I process things. So it’s exciting for me to kind of have that opportunity.
My primary thing and just in general with my life is like, my days are really hyper scheduled, and I don’t leave a lot of room for fluidity. And so even today, like we hopped on to record the start here, and then you were like what do you think, want to record the first episode?
And then I had to mentally be like, yes, that is okay. That is an okay thing. Like we’re gonna go forward with it. You don’t have anything else urgent planned, as somebody who has some ADHD and other things going on in my life, I need to keep things organized and like be really diligent about list building and be really diligent about the way that I’m tackling tasks. But some times like the thought of adding something new into that mix and find the time for it can be a little bit anxiety inducing for me.
For me, mostly, it just has to do with I’m also really outcome oriented. So I think about like, is this going to be worth my time and I think I’d probably made the mistake in the past of thinking about everything in terms of being worth my time, from a monetary perspective, when it turns out like there are some things that are just really going to be worth your time because they bring you joy, or you are learning or, not to be a bit of a loser, but like you’re forming a new partnership you’re excited about and that kind of stuff.
So that’s something else I’ve just been thinking about. But I, I will say that I’ve that’s something I like thought through even possibly just now in the last 84 seconds. And, and I feel actually pretty comfortable with it.
Allison Green 20:41
Awesome. Are there any other anxieties that you’re having about starting this podcast? Anything else that’s sort of tickling at the back of your throat about this?
Christopher Mitchell 20:50
Yeah. Don’t mention tingling in the back of your throat during this time? Because I don’t want to think about symptoms. .
Allison Green 20:58
We can refrain from any medical anologies.
Christopher Mitchell 21:03
That would be good. Yeah, no medical analogies for the foreseeable future, please and thank you.
Okay. Yeah, I guess just I mean, the big thing is that for me, and this is just something I’m like, legitimately, probably the biggest anxiety I have about the anxiety podcast is, you know, I’m not going to do something like this, unless I feel like I can be vulnerable, because I feel like probably being vulnerable, is the only way that this, you know, we’re not doing this podcast to try and help a trillion people.
But I feel like if it is going to help somebody, it’ll help people because we’re vulnerable about things. I’d like to think we’re two people doing a whole bunch of interesting stuff. But we’re still willing to admit that we like everybody else, we have our, you know, downsides and our faults, and so on and so forth.
And I think, just honestly, growing up as like a sports-playing male, like it was just like, always thought of as like mental illness, or, I don’t know, whatever it is, and like, if you’re anxious, or you’re depressed, or whatever, you’re weak, you know. And I think, even though I know, that’s just absurd, there’s still some small part of me that’s like, don’t be openly talking about anything wrong with you, Chris, you know, you’re doing just fine. And so that’s a legitimate thing for me.
But I also realized, like, it’s not a big shame to say that you struggle with this, that, or the other. And in fact, like, you know, if we’re really gonna try to move forward into the new age of respect for each other, we probably got to be honest about where we’re at, you know, so that’s, I think I explained that well enough to that. Did I convey that?
Allison Green 22:30
Yeah, no, it made sense, that made sense. I feel like I should have more anxiety about vulnerability because I have like massive social anxiety when it comes to like, Oh, my God is the person at the pet store thinking that I’m a fucking moron today because like, I didn’t, you know, know the right word for like, a bag or whatever.
Christopher Mitchell 22:53
Allison Green 22:55
I’m in Bulgaria learning Bulgarian and it’s not going so well. So like, what I’ve realized now is like, my social anxiety is like, very, hyper specific to like, strangers, and like people I don’t know very well, like I am immensely invested in like what my grocer thinks of me.
Christopher Mitchell 23:19
Allison Green 23:21
Or like, what, like, completely random people who I should not care about? And like, you know, what their thoughts of me are? I, I feel like I cannot make a fool of myself in front of them. And for some reason, though, if it’s just sort of like faceless masses, I’m like, “Oh, you guys want to know every embarrassing thing that has ever happened to me? Fine. Let’s go for it. Let’s, let’s strip off all the bandaids. Here’s this, here’s that here’s this issue. Here’s that issue. Oh, you want some of this? You want some of that? Free for all?”
I don’t know why, I guess it’s just because like, I can’t see the faces and like, I’m sure if I went down a rabbit hole thinking, “Oh, I’m sure this person is gonna listen to it,” then I could freak out about it.
But in general, I don’t mind being vulnerable to an invisible person, to like an invisible listener. I’m much more nervous about like, dealing with strangers in my everyday life. That’s how my vulnerability manifests.
Christopher Mitchell 24:23
Yeah, I think that’s interesting. I mean, for me, like, and we’re gonna get into this a little bit more. I think we’re gonna do a whole episode on social anxiety and stuff. I don’t have any of that. I love meeting new people. I love like, figuring out if I can make some new friends in my life.
But I guess for me, it’s the opposite. I’m like I worry about I don’t know, I guess you worry about that like one person who’s just like, “well, guess I’m writing off Chris now”, you know, but then you also realize as you get older, too, like the anybody who would do that to you, like isn’t worth having in your life anyways, you know what I mean? So it’s like, that’s the other things too.
I’m thankful for that. I find kind of as I get older, there’s probably more things I’m like, leery of, and so on. But I also have more experience to draw from, to let me know that it’s ridiculous. And that’s definitely something I can do is like, catastrophize a situation like, you know, again, you have like a little coffin, you’re like, Oh, my gosh, plan the funeral, you know.
Allison Green 25:03
Christopher Mitchell 25:21
Especially these times, you know, but taking that deep breath can help. And thankfully, I’ve got a good amount of experience to draw from now. But yeah, it’s, uh, every day, you know, you just gotta wake up, dramatic voice and battle on.
Allison Green 25:36
You sound like a sailor, like a really grizzled sailor who’s like, just seeing the worst storm and battening down the hatches for another day … that’s sometimes how it feels like, that’s sometimes the reality.
Christopher Mitchell 25:51
Yeah, and I’m kind of interested to see how we both share throughout the podcast. But I’m, like, I was really excited about starting off with an episode like this to put everything out there.
And then there’s sort of this like, great context for all the other things we’re going to produce. And, like, to me, a lot of the anxiety or trepidation I might have had around starting a podcast like this, like, it’s almost kind of Xed out for me, because we started off with a open and vulnerable kind of like little start here, which people might have listened to before this episode. And the fact that we’re doing this episode, you know what I mean?
Allison Green 26:25
Yeah, yeah, because we’re setting the expectations low, which is great.
Because that means we will exceed expectations, most likely. But we did want to emphasize that this is not going to be a hugely edited production. We want this to be a conversation amongst friends that you don’t feel awkward eavesdropping on, basically.
Christopher Mitchell 26:54
Yeah, exactly. And I think also, we didn’t mention this in the start here. But for people who are curious about how it’s going to progress, I mean, obviously, it’s gonna take a whole bunch of different forms. But I think we’re also keen to have different people on and show different opinions and all that kind of stuff. So there’s plenty of room for that. And I think we’re, at least I’m, you know, pretty excited to keep things fresh and have some different voices on, too.
Allison Green 27:18
Yeah, we’re definitely looking forward to having some guests on the show to share their anxieties. Or just to be like “the fuck is wrong with you two? That is not a thing.” To give us that necessary check when I’m going on a rampage about bananas or something like that.
Christopher Mitchell 27:37
I’m excited for that episode, by the way, I mean, everybody, everyone needs to put that like circle that in your memory. Right, now that it’s coming, it’s coming.
Allison Green 27:45
I have a lot of fears. And but I just think it’ll be fun to have some different voices on here. We’re gonna start off just the two of us kind of working on getting our structure down, our rapport down, and, and then we’ll throw in some some fun things.
We want our listeners to be able to call in and share some of their anxieties as well along the line, and we can discuss those. So we want this to eventually become more interactive, a little more community based, because, I mean, we’re all in this together. And I mean, and if you’re not in this together, I’m not really sure why you’re listening to a podcast about anxiety, that seems a little bit sadistic.
Christopher Mitchell 28:32
Very voyeuristic of you.
Allison Green 28:34
dramatic voice GET OUT!
Christopher Mitchell 28:40
Yeah, I think that’s that’s well said. So I think we touched on a lot of the major things. Is there anything else that you feel anxious about in starting this podcast? Or did we cover a lot of the nitty gritty details of that?
Allison Green 28:55
I think we covered all the things that I wanted to cover. I just wanted to say, one more time, because people may not have listened to the start here. One thing we are anxious about is we don’t want people to think that this is a self help podcast.
We have zero clinical expertise or knowledge, we are very much mismanaging our own anxieties. So we are not going to try to help others except for just sharing our own personal stories in hopes that you can find something to relate to or feel less alone in your anxiety.
So I’m just I guess I’m slightly anxious about people leaning too much on to us when we aren’t able to actually provide that support because we’re still messes who are working on ourselves one day at a time. And so we want to offer people this community to join and hear and commiserate with us. But at the same time, we are in no way able or qualified to help people with anxiety besides sharing our points of view.
So I guess I was just a little anxious about setting sort of the boundaries of what we will and won’t be able to do in this podcast.
Christopher Mitchell 30:23
Allison Green 30:24
So we just want this to be…. because anxiety is like, I feel like a lot of the time it’s like anxiety is a “disease” you must stamp out. And the prescription is like meditation, cold showers, waking up at 5am, and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and you have to follow this like insane regimen. And we all know that we won’t do that.
And we just want to be people who are living with anxiety, talking about what it’s like, to be us, obviously, we’re trying to get over our anxieties and cope with them in healthy ways whenever possible. But we’re just trying to share our stories and not trying to prescribe a cure, because we wish we had one because it’s not fun. It’s not fun waking up at five in the morning being like, dramatic voice “I’m having a heart attack. No, sorry. It’s just, it’s just a panic attack. Don’t worry, guys. Don’t call the hospital right now. It’s fine.” — that’s a literal story from the last week.
Christopher Mitchell 31:30
Yeah, I think that’s a really important point. I mentioned to you before we’re starting that some of what maybe inspired or just like is a precedent for for this kind of podcast is the Mental Illness Happy Hour, which is a great podcast for people who are going to want to listen to other people deal with their own issues and their own battles, and the host their describes their podcast as “a waiting room that doesn’t suck.” And I think that obviously, if there’s copyright there, we’re not claiming that for ourselves at all.
Allison Green 32:03
Fair use! Fair use.
Christopher Mitchell 32:04
Fair use. But yeah, I think also, my feeling is that we’re not setting out here to start a wild movement that’s going to change the world. But I think we can provide value in honestly talking about our experiences and how we overcome certain things.
I mean, I know as somebody who has that touch of ADHD, kind of like a little obsessive thing going on here. Like I’ve created some systems and things that work for me and, and different ideas that I think have helped me and it’s, you know, I’m never gonna stand here and be like, this is what you need to do. But I am also really comfortable saying like, this is what I have done. And I think that’s probably all we can do, right is say, like, I did this, and it worked great.
On the other hand, I also drank four cups of coffee yesterday and didn’t stop working. And that wasn’t good. You know? So that’s, that’s all we can do. But I’m happy we got that out there. And I think we’re looking for episodes to be really full. Like, we’re not looking to make our episodes like two hours for no apparent reason. We’re not going for the Joe Rogan status, and we’re just going to talk about things for as long as it takes. So some episodes, you know, might be 20 minutes, 25 minutes, some episodes might be an hour.
But I’m comfortable with that. And you know, I don’t think we need to be boxed in on anything. But I think we’ve set up some real parameters here with the Start Here and in this first episode that let people know that while we’re anxious about starting a podcast, I’ve always kind of felt like the separation between anxiety and excitement is pretty slim sometimes.
Allison Green 33:33
Christopher Mitchell 33:34
And so like, I’m thankfully much more on the excited part of it. And there are definitely moments during this journey of ours where I’m like, “Nope, just anxious about it.” But, but that’s okay, too. Yeah, I’m pretty stoked about this.
And so in the same way that we start every episode by talking about one thing that on a scale of one to a certain dramatic action that’s has all sorts of fun adjectives and stuff, this week was crumbling to pieces, we want to end each episode by talking about one thing that you’re patting yourself on the back for.
So one thing that could be the last day, it could be the last week, could be in the last year, whatever. But one time where you thought, Hey, you know, I’m a little anxious right now, but I’m gonna deal with this in the way I know how. Can you think of anything where you think, Hey, I was anxious, but, but then I made the right move and whatever it was and went for a walk, whatever. Do you have any examples of that?
Allison Green 34:31
Yeah, so a little backstory for this. Chris and I are both travel writers. So pretty much…. our whole businesses just came crashing down overnight. And as my friend Christina put it, we basically got fired from a job that we are the boss of.
Christopher Mitchell 34:49
Allison Green 34:52
So I don’t feel right writing about travel right now. It just feels too wrong.
Christopher Mitchell 34:59
Allison Green 35:00
It just doesn’t feel topical, it just doesn’t feel… because I’m still mourning the loss of our movement and freedom. And I have no idea when things will open up again. And so I’ve been thinking about, well, how am I going to earn a living again, because my blog was my only source of income. And so I was kind of wallowing about — because I had just hit my goals, like my stretch goals, like just two months ago I just hit those goals. And so I was really mourning the loss of sort of like all my hard work and not being able to see you know, what’s gonna happen in the next couple years.
And you know, that that was really causing me a ton of anxiety, not being able to have this like crystal ball to look into the future to be like, Okay, well Coronavirus will be over on, you know, April 1 of 2021. And then my life can return you know, this whole living in questioning has been really taking a toll on me.
And so I decided I needed a new project to fill my time, because this podcast apparently isn’t enough of a project to fill my time. I have too much, too much anxious energy to expend. And so despite my fear of starting something new and sucking at things at the beginning, I started a food blog. And I actually posted on it like several times and have made and photographed several recipes, which are all waiting to be published. And I’m just feeling really happy that even though my food photography is — did you see like when Martha Stewart went viral for having like the worst food photography on the planet?
Christopher Mitchell 36:38
Allison Green 36:39
Okay, well, it’s delightful. Mark that down as a to do after finishing this podcast, we can
Christopher Mitchell 36:46
Maybe we can put it in the show notes.
Allison Green 36:47
We can put it in the show notes. But I’m a couple steps above that at the moment, but I’m getting better. It didn’t help that like I had my camera set on like Northern Lights settings for the first day of shooting. So that was a little tricky. If you’re a photography nerd, you’ll know that shooting at 3200 ISO indoors is a bad move.
If you’re not a photography nerd, just know that I was really fucking dumb. And my motto for the past year or so has been better done than perfect. And so I’m just getting stuff up as fast as I can reasonably do without triggering my anxiety further. So I am proud of myself for starting a new business venture and pivoting and working on that. That was really long. I’m sorry.
Christopher Mitchell 37:42
No, not at all, no, that’s great. hard to think of a probably a more uplifting or enlightening monologue to have in the whole show. So that’s great. I think you should, you should feel great about that.
And also, of course, I was hanging on your every word because I am in the exact same position right, where everything came crumbling down a little bit. I had trips planned galore that were going to bring in income and things like that. And I had some other anxieties just around, I run the Toronto Bloggers Collective, a group of 500 people, and I think I felt like I.. and still feel like… I have to play the role a little bit of trying to keep everyone together.
You know, we hosted last night like a 8pm Happy Hour, we just had 15 people show up on Zoom and have a drink and just catch up. And I think, you know, that’s despite the fact that everything crumbled, like that kind of stuff gives me some purpose.
But since all this kind of came crashing down, it really started when Bri and I were in Mexico and had to flee back from Mexico and do a two week self quarantine, just to make sure we were asymptomatic. And I realized on Friday that I had not taken a day off since I came back. So I’ve worked kind of without knowing it or kind of by accident for 17 days straight.
And that’s something that could happen to me, like I can get so goal oriented or goal focused that I forget about my well being. And so I’m proud of myself for taking yesterday off, I woke up and drank some of my favorite tea and went out for a walk, you know, kind of avoiding people naturally, then came back and played some online games with a few buddies, which is not something I usually do, Bri made a great dinner and then I played online poker with some buddies and we were all chatting.
So I did a little bit of work in the afternoon, but it was mostly personal stuff like I was writing up… I have a thing where I put flags in all the books that I’m reading for sentences or phrases I really like, and I write them out. So I just did that and caught up to some books I want to write some notes from, which was actually kind of therapeutic.
So I think I’m actually happy that I recognized I needed a day off and that’s partially because it’s not a two week thing. Like it’s not like you graduate from two weeks and it’s done like, you’re right, this could be a long, long time.
And so I think yesterday was actually kind of like my great realization that for this to be successful and this to be, and — also not worrying so much about it being, you know, quote unquote, successful — but just like realizing that to make the most of it means doing what we’re doing now, which is starting new projects, engaging with new people, but not every single day. And I think we did that well, because we were supposed to meet last week, and we figured out that this was going to be the best time for us to meet. And there was no pressure on that. So I think this project is also going to bring a lot of light. But yeah, I’m happy I actually took a day off.
Allison Green 40:35
Yeah, that’s big. It’s like really hard when you work for yourself to set those work-life boundaries. So props to sustain that, especially when you’re kind of in a state of panic, like we are at the moment, because everything we used to know, just the rulebook got thrown out the window.
So it’s not like, Oh, I just need to keep hustling in the same way that I’ve been doing. It’s like, Oh, no, I need to rewrite the book. So yeah, so it’s been, it’s been a challenge. But to be honest, like, I think I’m also proud of how I have not panicked more about the loss of my business. Yeah, like, I’m trying to take it in stride and pivot and not focus so much on the macro. Because for some reason, this is always a strange thing with me and my anxiety. On the macro level, big life stuff, I’m usually pretty cool. I don’t have like the existential angst all the time of like, “Who am I?” Like, you know, say that in a Derek Zoolander voice, please.
But um, I get more anxious about the nitty gritty, the day to day, the errands, the this the that the little teeny tiny things that shouldn’t get my goat so much. but do. Meanwhile, big picture. I’m like, Oh, the world is burning. Okay, I’ll sit inside and I guess I’ll start a new business.
Christopher Mitchell 42:04
I guess I’ll start a few new things.
Allison Green 42:05
Christopher Mitchell 42:06
Yeah, I definitely feel that, I’m kind of in the exact same place. But I’m also kind of proud of myself for pushing forward and trying to start some new things and bring some new light in. And I kind of figured that in starting this podcast that it really wasn’t either of us trying to help a million other people, it was more just trying to see if we can help each other a little bit. And maybe that will, you know, resonate with other people. And I think that’s kind of cool. And people will learn quickly that I have this soft side of making these little dramatic moments that they’re gonna have to deal with.
Allison Green 42:39
Yeah, people are gonna have to deal with a lot.
Christopher Mitchell 42:43
laughs Fair enough. Well, you know what, I’m gonna go ahead and say that that was a pretty good first episode. And I really hope that everyone who listened along could feel that our hearts are in this project and we’re both excited about it. So from me, I will just say a big thank you to everyone who listened to the first episode, we have a lot of fun topics that we’re already sort of getting ready to, to put out into the world. And, and I’m really excited about it. And it’s really good to have something to be excited about right now.
Allison Green 43:12
Yes, I agree. And also, one quick note, we’re gonna release these, like the Netflix binge model at first, and then do a slow drip. So if you’re like really into this podcast, don’t worry, we’re gonna have like three more for you to like, binge and get your quick hit on. And then we’re going to be releasing once a week, because we know that some people — at least I measure my days of the week, because you know, time has no meaning to me anymore, by like when when podcasts come out.
Like my favorite podcast is Lovett or Leave It, like that’s the only way I know that it’s Saturday. So don’t worry, we will keep to a schedule for you guys. If you’re also anxious and like to have things at a predictable time, we are going to be doing our very best to stick to a once a week schedule, releasing new content once a week after we drop these first four episodes for you guys.
Christopher Mitchell 44:10
Yeah, for sure. And I guess we should just let people know where they can find us if they’re looking to find us. So I mean, yeah, if you’d like do you want to let people know where they can find you?
Allison Green 44:22
Yeah, sure. I mean, I could use literally every penny that your pageviews will give me because I’m currently banking about eight bucks a day. So if you want, you can hit refresh a bunch of times on several of my websites. So you can find me at eternalarrival.com, which covers global travel, so probably not relevant to you at the moment. You can also find me on sofiaadventures.com, which focuses on travel in Bulgaria and the Balkans. Also, probably not super relevant right now.
And finally, you can check out my new blog, which is a food blog focused on cooking international cuisine from a limited resource kitchen, which you can find at thepassportkitchen.com. Basically, it’s chronicling my attempts to make food from around the world, in a place where it’s very difficult and confusing to source ingredients like Bulgaria.
I’m trying to keep things like as authentic as I can, while also being realistic about what ingredients like people can and can’t get and not be like, “you can’t have a proper Indian curry without amchur powder,” which I mean, I do have but I know people probably don’t.
So I don’t want to like Guy Fieri up, like, you know, classic dishes and like make, you know, nationals of these countries picket me. But I also do want to bring food from around the world, especially because we can’t really travel at the moment, to people’s kitchens in a way that they can enjoy relatively simply. So that is my my spiel for my new blog. And you don’t need to hit refresh on that one a lot. Because like, I don’t have any ads on it. So just the other one please.
Christopher Mitchell 46:26
Yeah, so again, it’s taking a little bit of a hiatus on in some ways, but I’m still posting a lot on travelingmitch.com, with one L, I say for Canadians and other people, non Americans. I’m posting mostly just stuff, other expertise I have like uplifting podcasts and stuff like that, that people can check out. I do have another site, I have an Ontario travel website, ultimateontario.com.
The best place for people to find me is on social media. Traveling Mitch on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook… Twitter, especially, it’s just I don’t know, there’s something about that platform that calls to me and I, I just I think it’s a pretty low barrier to entry and I really like Twitter. So that’s a good place to find me. And of course, if you’re based in Toronto, and you’re creating stuff, you can feel free to check out the Toronto Bloggers Collective, but most importantly for now, I’m just thankful you guys are checking this out. And listening to Allison and I just talk about this, that and the other, together. I thought it was pretty good.
Allison Green 47:28
Yeah. Thanks for tuning in, guys.
Christopher Mitchell 47:32
Cheers guys, thanks.